Having “Time Off”
Since we’ve been together, Kyle has always had to work on Memorial Day, and the days leading up to this holiday were… less than enjoyable. With Kyle in his first office job, he’s getting a taste of how sweet a full-time office job can be. During the holiday weeks, there’s less work and you actually get holidays off.
Friday, like most Fridays at work, had been sprinkled with a few chaotic moments. After I clocked out, I felt like I could breathe again. The thought of the weekend carried me through every moment of the day, and I just couldn’t wait to clock out. I can’t remember most of this day, other than feeling frustrated, leaving work, eating, and then going to bed.
Before I went to bed, I vowed that I would wake up early. That did not happen. When Saturday rolled around, Kyle and I slid out of bed at around 7:00 a.m. (yes, that is “sleeping in” for us!). I tried to squeeze in as many chores as possible before our “Waffle Saturday” event. Sleeping in, waffles, time off, it sounds great, right?
Not when you’re me.
What I dislike most about my brain is… well, many things, but my need to clean is at the top of the list. Here I am, with plans and a three-day weekend with my fiancé, and all I’m thinking about is… cleaning.
“Okay, after you do this, you can finally wipe off the countertops. Dust the dresser. Clean the shower tub.”
These thoughts incessantly swim through my head nearly every weekend. I have to think sometimes… what happens if I can’t clean over the weekend?
My definition for “dirty,” is vastly different than others. The weird thing is… if I’m over at someone’s house, and it’s obvious that they haven’t had time to clean, it doesn’t bother me at all, but if I’m lounging around and I see dust buildup on my coffee table? Game over. Time for a spiral.
So, I’m proud to say that I did get the cleaning done this weekend, but I’m also disappointed that this was such a big task on my “to-do” list. Will the world fall apart if I forget to dust one weekend? Reality says no, my brain says yes.
Other than my brain’s obsession with cleaning, I did have an enjoyable three-day weekend with Kyle in which I:
- Hung Out With Friends & Ate Waffles
- Saw My Parents
- Found Time To Garden
- Went Shopping
- Felt Normal (Pre-COVID Normal)
I am happy to have accomplished these things. Saturday and Sunday were fantastic, and I enjoyed laughing and reminiscing with my parents, going out for dinner, and feeling like a post-COVID future was actually possible. Today was a big “catch up” day in terms of chores and volunteer work. I am sad that I didn’t get to play piano, read, or just feel… relaxed. I really only felt relaxed on Sunday, when I laid beneath a maple tree, watching the cicadas trek up the tree trunk while Kyle flew his drone. Everything else felt like a giant to-do list I had to tackle.
How do I convince my brain to give me a break every now and then?
If you have answers, let me know.
